Final installment of quotes

“I mean: God…poo.”
            -Greg, on the frustrations of switching classes.

{Lauren: Ooh, I have a cat in my pants!
Mr. Douglas: Here comes Mr. Whiskers!}

“You totally missed what we were saying while you were gone!”
            -Keegan
“My kid looks like Greg. Oh crap.”
            -Sang Hun (on genetics)
“I would but I don’t have a chin.”
            -Keegan (On America’s Next Top Model)
“It is Teacher Appreciation week…”
            -Lance

{Lauren: And who would Jesus shoot, Lance!?
Keegan: The Pharisees.}

{Lauren: Who in our class will get married?
Yun Sun: Greg and me! And we will be like a couple. Because Greg is like a girl.}

“In the record, Greg is cute.”
            -Meghan

{Greg: Well, I got best witness!
Mr. Douglas: Well, I got state runner-up!
Keegan: I got a Budweiser hat!}

(Doing “Mufasa” lips)
{Kate: You look like a who from whoville!
Lauren: You look like a ho from hoville!
Everyone: OH SNAP!}

“Why do they call them fundies? They’re not fun at all!”
            -Lance (on Fundamentalists)

{Keely: I wish I were a cat.
Lauren: Ummm…
Keely: Because cats don’t have thesis papers.
Lauren: Wow.
Keely: Unless you’re professor McGonagoll.
Lauren:…}

{Meghan: Mr. Douglas! ASK Ryan to say “caulk.”
Lauren: Um…
Meghan: ASK him. He can’t say “caulk.”
Lauren: Why would we want anyone to say that?
Mr. Douglas: Like caulking a shower.
Lauren: Ohhhh.}

“Lance! I have something to give you out of my butt!”
            -Greg
“Ryan, can I use you?”
            -Stephanie
“I make it hot for you. You know why? Because I love you.”
            -Waiter to Lauren at Roman restaurant

{Stephanie: Well, I was inside enjoying hormones!
Lauren: Dude, that’s how I spend all my time.
Dr. Woods: Enjoying hormones? That’ll get old. And we should probably finish this conversation before Mr. Corbin comes back.}

“Sugarpants!”
            -Mr. Hosier
“I don’t know about you guys, but I would much rather be someone’s concubine than have a firecracker up my vagina.”
            -Stephanie (in reference to a documentary on China)
“I was pretty naughty to the Amish people…”
            -Mr. Bree

{Keegan: We should tell people they look ravishing. Hee hee…it could be our joke…
Mr. Bree: We should tell people “You look pillaging.” Like, “I’d like to pillage you.”}

{Wes: I don’t think they get off on any theologians…
Keegan: But I do!}

“I’m going to throw a fit until you hit me with your fish-killing wrench.”
            -Meghan

{Lauren: I’m gonna go hang myself in the bathroom.
Keegan: Awesome! Can I have your headband?}

“Well frankly, all of your ideas have been rather retarded.”
            -Ryan (As Neitzsche in debate)
“If we all jump together, we can build up enough air resistance to float to the ground like a leaf.”
            -Wes (As Marx in debate)
“All of you guys should die because you are not goosepants.”
            -Yun Sun (As Hawthorne in debate)
  

Made Up My Mind

By Lauren Wilford

Just twelve kids at a table

In a frostbitten room

Just Pascal and the Bible

Our library cocoon

We laughed more than we should have

When nobody would look

We had each moment captured

Written down in our book

Thirty hours, forty weeks, three short summers

Doesn’t add up the bond that we’ve made

All the sweet funny things we discovered

All the prayers we prayed

Can you believe

What we’ve had all this time

Growing each other up

Having the chance

To make up a mind

(Melodic refrain)

In the pages of novels

We found out who we were

Dog eared pages and grass stains

Catching truth in a blur

All the hours compiling

Arguments to defend

Wasn’t harder than learning

How to nurture a friend

Should it hurt, should it make us cry

Watching everyong brrak away?

But our God’s teaching each one to fly

He gave us this day

Can you believe

What we’ve had all this time

Growing each other up

Having the chance

To make up a mind

When we look back

And it’s all left behind

In some small way,

Did I do my part

To make up your mind?

(Bridge)

Do you know when I broke

It was you who helped me be strong

Do you know that I cried

When I knew I had treated you wrong

We read things that mattered

And things that were beautifully true

Do you know that I found

The meaning of life next to you

(Melodic Refrain, Chorus)

God gave me the gift

Of having no doubt

You’ve made up my mind

You guessed it, even MORE quotes

{Mr. Douglas: You heard it here first! Mr. Corbin doesn’t believe in deodorant!

Mr. Corbin: Oh no, lucky for you guys I’m an addict!}

{Kate. I want to be corn.

Mr. Douglas: Very well. You are corn. }

“I’d rather play bocci than juggle!”

            - Lance

“Scary dogs scare me!”

            - Greg

“The wisdom in that is not there.”

            - Meghan

“Full-frontal action would be amusing”

            - Lance

“Ahh! What is this and why is it on my boob?”

            - Lauren

“Well, I would get my pulse like that, but I have a boob there!”

            - Stephanie

{Mr. Douglas: This class has issues.

Meghan: We’re Gender Bendin’ it!”}

“Deodorant is amazing.”

            - Kate

“My mole is so much fun!”

            - Kate

“Pull down your pants, Greg!”

            - Keegan

“Greg just doesn’t have one.”

            - Keegan

“Is it okay if I look like a ho?”

            - Stephanie

“My trunk can fit at least six dead people.”

            - Keegan

“Yes, because we would maliciously make up lies about you drooling.”

            - Lance

“Pubertized people should never be pitted against un-pubertized people.”

            - Lauren

“One of the BSU players chest-bumped me and I got all sweaty and wet!”

            - Ryan (on his Valentine’s Day adventures)

“I will pep you personally!”

            - Doug (on the pep rally)

“I have the best urine!”

            - Greg

“I have nutritious pee.”

            - Mikayla

“Yesterday my manager told me that my belt looks like a girdle.”

            - Keegan

{Lauren: Papayas.

Wes: Computers.

Lauren: Papayas.

Wes: Computers.

            - On the global market}

That's What She Said, or TWSS

“I’m not actually sure you’re gonna see that, but you need to know it’s there.”

            - Mr. Douglas

“You see, it’s not that hard, it’s just long.”

            - Miss Bent

“Aren’t you glad I made you do more of these?’

            - Miss Bent

Even more quotes

“Woah! It just took a dump!”

            - Lauren (in reference to a sudden flurry of snow)

{Lance: If you were my security guard, I’d be afraid of you.

Mr. Douglas: Wouldn’t that kinda defeat the point?}

“It’s one of those battleships that shoots carrots. It’s a working model.”

            - Mr. Stutzman

“I don’t think it’s appropriate for Lauren to be making comments about the magnitude of my body.”

            - Mr. Douglas (in Silent Football)

“The entire world is not dancers for Weiser.”

            - Keeganeeganeeganeegan.

“It’s like S for celebration!”

            - Mikayla

“Today is International Retard Day, also known as Keegan’s birthday.”

            - Mr. Douglas

“I would make such a cool black lady”

            - Meghan

...IN BED.

A TANTALIZING NEW PROSPECT WILL COME YOUR WAY PANDA EXPRESS – PANDA INN	A TEMPTING PROPOSAL WILL SOON PRESENT ITSELF TO YOU PANDA EXPRESS – PANDA INN
A PHOTO DOESN’T CAPTURE YOUR CHARM PANDA EXPRESS – PANDA INN	AN UNEXPECTED WINDFALL WILL SOON BE YOURS PANDA EXPRESS – PANDA INN
GOOD POSITION AND A COMFORTABLE SALARY WILL BE YOURS PANDA EXPRESS – PANDA INN	Seek out the significance of your problem at this time. Try to understand.
YOU DESIRE TO DISCOVER NEW FRONTIERS PANDA EXPRESS – PANDA INN	An interesting opportunity awaits you next Friday.
YOU MUST LEARN TO BROADEN YOUR HORIZONS, DAY BY DAY PANDA EXPRESS – PANDA INN	You will be selected for a promotion because of your accomplishments.
OTHERS SEEK YOUR COURAGE PANDA EXPRESS – PANDA INN	Investigate new possibilities with friends. Now is the time!

And some more quotes...

“Honestly, I can see either one of you selling your souls to the devil.”

            - Mr. Douglas (about Meghan and Lauren)

{Stephanie: Ad-freaking-mire!

Lance: Em-freaking-ulate!}

“I’ll bang your buck!”

            - Lauren

{Quote from Faust:

            “You should not make

            Love to a rake

            Unless you have the ring.”

Keegan: The rake and the ho(e) can get married! Yay!

Everyone: Keegan…um…

Keegan: Garden tools are amazing…}

Mephistopholes: “Unsheath your toothpick, don’t delay;

                                       Thrust at him, and I shall parry

                                       …Thrust home!”

{Meghan: I couldn’t tell if we were done ‘cause Greg was still singing.

Mr. Douglas: Well, it ain’t over till the fat lady sings

Lauren: So Greg is our fat lady?}